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- If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him - is he still wrong?
- If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
- Is there another word for synonym?
- Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
- When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be removed?
- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
- What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
- If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
- Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
- If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
- Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
- Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
- If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- How do they get the deer to cross at the road sign?
- Why do they sterilise needles for lethal injections?
- Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
- Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
- One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
- Atheism is a non prophet organization.
- If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
- The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
- Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
- Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
- It must be true that men are from Mars. Look at how the place has deteriorated.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
- If psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
- Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor since you can't drink and drive?
- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
- Why are there interstate hiways in Hawaii?
- Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations, when smoking is prohibited there?
- Do you need to use a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
- How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?
- If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
- If a cow lauged, would milk come out of her nose?
- If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?
- If you are in a vehicle travelling at the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
- Most packages say "open here"; What is the correct protocol to use if a package says "open somewhere else?"
- Why are there braille instructions on drive-in Automatic Teller Machines?
- Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
- Why do our noses run, and our feet smell?
- Why is it when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
- Why do we play in recitals, and recite in plays?
- You know that little indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they just make the whole plane out of the same substance?
- Why are there floatation devices under airline seats instead of parachutes?
- Why does Minute Rice require FIVE minutes to cook?
- Why do we turn down the volume on our automobile radios when we are driving and trying to find an address?
- Why do men refuse to stop and ask for directions, and women refuse to learn how to read maps?
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